Local 871
I cut a heavy check for the union.
Thousands of dollars.
Nice people, mostly women.
It seems I'm doing this.

Before I can work on set I must take some classes.

A2 | Environmental Safety
I took this course in my underwear.
What do you do in an earthquake?

Whatever you do, keep rolling!

I passed this class.

K | Noise Exposure
I put on some pants.

The textbook seemed to have a beef about rock concerts.
Specifically rock music.
It also couldn't tell the boys from the girls these days, what with all that long hair.

I passed this class.

G | Scaffold Use
A retired DP taught this course.
He was a joker.
"If you see a faulty scaffold, how far away should you stand?"
20 feet? 30 feet?
"The hell away. As in Cleveland. Not that you'd ever want to visit Cleveland. Is there anybody here from Cleveland?"
A woman entered, having come from the ladies room.
"Are you from Cleveland?"
Um, no.
"Okay good."

I passed this class.

I | Respiratory Protection
A retired AD taught this course.
I learned about respiratory protection.

I passed this class.

P | Hazard Communication
An amusement architect taught this course.
He designed many famous roller coasters.
Everyone he came up with is dead because they didn't care about hazard communication.

I passed this class.

871 Meeting
I attended a union meeting, in pants.
A spunky veteran scripty had a lot to say about teleprompter's rights.
She resembled current Carrie Fisher, down to the native California accent.

Union Orientation
Good people, good benefits.

Now I just sit back in my beach chair, take off my pants and wait for the money to roll in. Right?